Well, where to begin? I grew up in a Christian home, have been an active member in the same church since I was born, and even attended a Baptist academy until the 4th grade. I was always in Sunday School and even had Bible lessons at school; I knew most of the Bible stories. And to be honest, I really can't remember a time when I didn't know about God and wasn't praying.
However, when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade, my parents divorced and it was a very confusing time for me and my family. I can remember many times going to sleep just feeling so alone. It was around then that I can remember starting to pray all the time. I prayed that one day, it wouldn't hurt so much to not have my family all together. I prayed that I would stop feeling so alone.
Well, after my parent's divorce, I switched schools to a public school. I was not involved in my Sunday school as much as I used to be either. Then in 6th grade, a girl I knew from church started going to my school. As I got to know her better, I started going back to youth group at my church with her. I started getting back in Sunday School, too. The more I went, the more I started to learn about the God who I had been praying to. Everything that I had ever been taught in church about me being a sinner finally hit home.
I finally realized that I could do absolutely nothing to make it to Heaven. That I was a sinner and sin separates me from God. That Christ was God's son sent to earth to live a flawless life to be the perfect sacrifice for my sins. I finally realized that it was only through Christ that I could find that peace that I had been looking for for so long. With Him on my side, who could stand against me? Who could make me feel inferior? How could I ever be lonely knowing that He is always with me?
How could I ever want or worry or be anxious about anything? With Him, anything and everything is possible. If I am going through an extremely busy day, I just give it all to Him in the morning and know that only He can get everything done; and tomorrow, it will all be over, so why worry about it now? I also know now that only Christ can ever fill that emptiness inside of me. Anyone else will ultimately fail.
So, to wrap things up, I can now not only pray to God, but I can rely on Him to provide my everthing. I trust Him, that He will. Now, don't get me wrong. Somedays it is very hard. Satan still attacks me all the time, trying to make me feel lonely, inferior to others, tempting me where he knows I am most weak. But because of Christ dying on the cross for me, Satan has already been defeated. God has already won the war.
So, I pray for God's guidance and strength in the battles and His contentment and peace in the quiet times. And I also pray for Him to continually teach me new things. I know that my relationship with Him needs to be an ongoing one. Christ can always teach me new things and more about Him. I should never stop wanting to know more
about my Christ.
