Nothing has affected my life more than Jesus Christ has. When I was a little girl, I went to church on a few occasions, but never consistently. I celebrated Christmas and knew about the birth of God's Son. Many nights, I was told to say my prayers before I went to bed.
When I started junior high, I met some of my very best friends that I have today. I started to going to church with Lindsay. I went with her a lot. She would invite me to come to their youth hour on Wednesday nights, to come to Sunday school on Sunday mornings, and to come to any special events at the church.
As she became one of my best friends and as I began to know the other kids at her church better, I began to realize that they had something in their lives that I did not have. There was something special about them. They were all so happy and so caring. I was happy and a pretty good kid.
However, I was in junior high, and I was starting to get curious about all sorts of things. Junior high is a time of awkwardness and curiosity. As I began to notice the love in Lindsay's life, I became embarrassed that I did not have it in my life.
Before I met Lindsay and started going to church with her, I can remember one specific moment when I really heard God in my heart. I was at church with my dad and my stepmom on a Sunday morning. At the end of the morning service, the preacher said, ""There is only one way to get to heaven. There is nothing you can do to make God love you any less, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you anymore.""
He continued on to say that God loves us so much. We have sin in our lives, but He gave us a gift of salvation or freedom through the sacrifice of His Son to a cruel death on a cross. The preacher told of how all that a person must do to live forever in heaven is to accept Jesus as the Lord of their lives, to ask for forgiveness of the wrong things that one has done, and to begin to seek how to live for God for the rest of their life.
I knew then that God was reaching out to me and telling me that He loved me. For some reason, I was afraid to say that I never knew this. I was afraid to admit that I had never turned my life over to Jesus. I was afraid to admit that I needed God. I was probably only 11 or 12, and at such a young age, I had already learned these fears and insecurities that adults struggle with. When I was around Lindsay and at church with these people who loved God so much, I was afraid again. I was afraid for them to know that I had not given my heart to Jesus. I was ashamed to ask for anyone to help me.
However, God loves us so much. He knows our every need and our every desire. God knows how many hairs are upon our heads. God knew that I was scared and ashamed. He did what only a great and powerful and all knowing God could do. He sent a lady and a youth from that church to visit me one evening. During their visit at my house, they told me once again about how much God loved me and how Jesus had chosen to die on the cross for my sins. That night, I prayed that God would be the ruler of my life. I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and I confessed that Jesus is Lord and that he died on a cross for my sins. I did not just pray this prayer with my mouth, but I have chosen to live this prayer with my life.
I still fall and sin, but I am burdened when I do. I owe my life to Jesus. I could have taken a different path that would have possibly led to alcohol abuse and an endless effort to please other people if Jesus were not in my life. When I was 13, Lindsay became one of my best friends, but Jesus did, too.
